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fears of fainting

by shooey

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1.
don't leave me alone in the house that I grew up in I feel faint in the bliss that I once soaked in what spoils did exist the frosting still on my lips who is this girl that knows me naked? she is all I have learned and forgotten she is all I have been and have forgotten who is this girl I have forgotten? my child
2.
I've punched a few guts out then floated away down the sidewalk but they never lose their appetite cause we still go out for dinner all the time been trying to figure out why figure out why you stick around on this ride do my ups and downs make you feel nice If you don't tell me I may not guess right I'm floating away down the sidewalk apologizing for fingers I've ripped off sometimes I get them mixed up with other things around me it sucks sometimes I get mixed up
3.
my friends 01:12
I do it all in pursuit of myself I do it all in pursuit of myself I do it all for no one else I do it all in pursuit of myself but I remember my friends before and after I pass out
4.
Does this give me a reason to look out the window watch the light through the shutters for an hour or so I don’t care if I get dizzy cause I can deal with that now just need a few salty pretzels and a chair to sit down I will outrun my jitters I’ll befriend my blurry eyes cause my condition is my condition I must be moving on some time fine fine fine fine I’m fine I’m fine I’m fine the world is happy enough I’ll stop sticking out my tongue
5.
bed 03:42
at the end of the night I see you feeling something floral patterns on your tongue happy that you let me look at em at the end of the night I watch you drift through every season which one would you like to meet in? happy to move between them your ears ask for nothing but a soft place with your sweet sweet loving a soft place a soft place with your loving
6.
:/ 02:30
somethings different, I think about it hourly somethings different, do you feel it baby? are we...? are we...? somethings different, oh please let me touch you somethings different, will you feel brand new? are we...? are we....? come over, I’ll sing till you feel nothing come over, we’ll sleep in dreams of nothing are we...? are we....?
7.
my bedroom looks very different now I sleep much close to the window now I can’t keep it open cause the streets are so loud I think that you’d agree with me if you were around eating my apple when you say what’s up well, look what I’ve become with all of this freedom I can tell you it’s not that fun wanna tell you you’re the stranger I will always always love now, I love music most in the car yeah we have grown apart we have grown apart
8.
My father’s burnt like a lobster on the inside and the outside too oh how he looks just like my brothers melts into the patience of my mother on his tiny little world he calls me shooey, shooey drive slow My father’s peace is in pine needles inside of his mouth and outside of it too oh how I wish he’d stay in between the top of the mountains and the bottom of the sea so much pressure there you don’t need but I know that pressure is for me on his tiny little world he calls me shooey, shooey drive slow he calls me shooey please, shooey drive slow
9.
I must keep remembering that it’s all inside me if I don’t, I wake up so sad it's all inside me the song I wake up to must be just the right song I buzz with all the things that I am I have no favorite color at the moment they’re all very strong right now and I can’t think so simply right now my entire life moves with me where ever I go it is all here right now buzzing inside me my belly aches the blood below it my body is woman my body is the space of me we have trouble and we have fun we hug ourself big hug around myself happy to be here that is usually all that I mean to say

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released August 17, 2016

shawnna 100 percent

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shooey Minneapolis, Minnesota

shawnna

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